Hello, everyone! Today I’m reviewing What Wakes Within Us by Brian Steppenwolf. I stumbled upon this MM romance book while perusing through NetGalley. I’m always looking for new MM romances written by queer men. So, I thought I’d give this one a try. Did I love it? Read on to find out!

They’re trying to save a show. Can they save each other too?

Theater director Tyler Terlecki has always trusted his work, not people. At thirty-eight, his world is controlled, carefully contained—until a rehearsal blowup forces him into an uneasy partnership with Nicholas, a younger intimacy coordinator whose job is to center consent and rebuild trust. Otherwise, the show does not go on.

Tyler is accustomed to shaping performances, not relinquishing control. But as rehearsals restart and professional boundaries blur, he finds himself confronting something more destabilizing than creative conflict: the quiet risk of being known beyond the role he plays. As their partnership deepens into something neither expected, both men must decide what they are willing to put on the line—for the production and for each other. The future of the show may not be the only thing at stake.

Told with honesty and warmth, What Wakes Within Us is a character-driven novel about second chances, finding one’s footing, and the courage required to build something meaningful—onstage and off.

Friendly forewarning: contains adult sexual situations, witty banter, not-so-subtle nods to a beloved musical, faithful representations of the general lousiness of our times, and gay men simply being gay men—all from (get this!) an actual gay male author.

***Thank you to PANIC Press for providing a copy of the book via NetGalley. My review contains my honest thoughts about my reading experience.***

I actually quite enjoyed my time with What Wakes Within Us. The characters felt like fully fleshed out people, especially Tyler, and I thought the themes were thought-provoking and presented in an easily digestible way. Unfortunately, the writing kept this story from reaching its full potential.

Let’s rip the band aid off quickly and start by discussing my biggest qualm with What Wakes Within Us, the writing. Parts of the story really overused the em dash. Their inclusion quickly became distracting, and the phrases they contained disrupted the flow of the text too much. Some of the dialogue also felt a bit clunky and unnatural at times. The POV of the story took some getting used to, as well. It was matter of fact and too omniscient, if that’s a thing. I felt like the reader was kept at arm’s length from the characters for a lot of the story. The use of random head hopping didn’t help either. Most of the story was told with Tyler at the center, but there were some moments that centered Nick instead. I think things would have worked better if the story was dual POV all the way through. The way it was told made it seem like the author wanted to focus on Tyler but couldn’t figure out a way to move the story and relationship forward without a few peeks at Nick’s perspective, which was just weird to read.

I really enjoyed getting to know Tyler in What Wakes Within Us. His personal struggles with isolation, alcohol, and rigidity were super relatable. At the start of the story, his life seems very structured and settled into a routine. However, it quickly becomes clear that his routine is at least partly due to him compensating for being incredibly lonely and unhappy with the lack of connection in his life. Throughout the story, there’s a great deal of really good commentary on the pitfalls of social media and how it has morphed into such a force for disconnection. I was honestly heartbroken while reading about how his social circle collapsed as he entered adulthood, especially his 30’s, because it hit a little too close to home. His journey to building more authentic connections in this story was really moving.

That brings me to the central relationship of What Wakes Within Us, the romance between Tyler and Nick. I really liked these two characters together. They experienced a bit of a bumpy start with Nick being withdrawn and even a little hostile. It made sense given the scenario. He was there to solve a problem with Tyler at the center of it. Nick’s hackles eventually lowered as he worked with Tyler more and more, and their mutual attraction turned into a workplace romance. The transition from coworker to romantic partner did seem abrupt, though, and could have been stretched out some more. However, there were so many beautiful and emotional moments between the two of them that I didn’t care overly much.

I also want to point out that I appreciated the unique premise of What Wakes Within Us. I liked that it gave an opportunity to show how intimacy coordinators can make a theater production better, both creatively and in improving safety for the cast. It just made for an odd backdrop to a romance, especially when one of them was the coordinator brought into the production to remedy the shortfalls of his new romantic partner’s directing. It also felt a little unprofessional for Nick to allow the relationship to develop when he was only recently brought in to solve issues related to intimacy. I think a more drawn-out period of flirtation and getting to know each other would’ve made these issues feel less prominent to me.

All in all, What Wakes Within Us made me feel something despite all of the qualms I had with the story. So, as far as I’m concerned, the story did its job well enough that I’ll be looking to see what the author does next. Therefore, I rate the book 3.25 out of 5 stars.

There you have it! My thoughts on What Wakes Within Us by Brian Steppenwolf. Would this be a book you’d be likely to pick up? Let me know your thoughts down in the comments!